Even though this website is a piece of art we've been advised to cobble together a terms and conditions page, just to suck the enjoyment out of everything. So if the cost of living crisis isn't depressing you enough here are some truly tedious terms.
A big thank you to members.parliament.uk for allowing us to use the portrait of all the MPs who have been crowned winners. Here's a quote from their page:
All these photos are released under an Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) licence. This means that you can use, share and adapt it, as long as you give proper attribution, provide a link to the licence, and indicate if changes were made to the image. See the full licence for more details.
So here's the required attribution. In case it wasn't obvious, all of the images have been altered. Thanks parliament.uk, we couldn't have done this without you.
This isn't really a commercial website, it's a piece of art and should be treated as such. We would like to think that you enjoy it and it raises a smile. Let's face it, the population of the UK could do with some cheering up at the moment. Who would have thought that, in one of the richest countries on the planet, pensioners would have to choose between heating or eating, nurses would have to use food banks and we would have had three Prime Ministers in as many months... oops, I've gone of topic haven't I?
Anyway, use the site in any way you see fit. Look at it, navigate around it, ignore it, shout at it, lick the sceen, complain about it, show your friends at work, get the logo tattooed on your kneecap, admire its lighthouse score, whatever floats your boat.
The only good cookies are biscuits and the best biscuits are Jaffa Cakes, which aren't even biscuits. So we don't use cookies. We don't need to track you because we have nothing to sell. We're not interested in conversion rates. You are not a user, you are a human being. What are you doing wasting your time in front of a screen anyway? Why don't you switch off your device and go out and do something less boring instead?
So your privacy is safe with us. We don't store any data about you. If you send us an email we'll probably ignore it.
Did you know that a company called Seaborne Freight were awarded a £13.8m contract despite never having run Channel service? In 2019 it was reported that their website had copied the terms and conditions of a pizza business.